Saturday, September 20, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Whether or not a guy and a girl can be just friends depends on how the friendship started, on whether or not there is a physical attraction involved, and on the personalities of the individuals.
How Opposite Sex Friendships WorkThere really is no good reason why members of the opposite sex can’t have important and close friendships with one another. Objections to these types of friendships come from a crude cultural belief that all guys view girls as sexual objects first and real people second. This is just plain stupid and does a disservice to males and females.
While there are situations where physical attraction is a factor it is rarely so overwhelming that it makes a friendship impossible. When physical attraction or lust does get in the way of being friends it isn’t always the guy who is struggling with those feelings. Yes, girls do lust after guys as much as guys lust after girls.
Whether or not that lust stifles a budding friendship or destroys an existing one is entirely dependent on the person having the feelings. Guys and girls can be friends if they really want to be friends. It only gets complicated if there is physical attraction involved that is not handled properly.
Dealing With Physical AttractionWhat is the proper way of dealing with a physical attraction to a friend? You have to be up front about things. Honesty is the key.
If you feel an attraction to a friend you have to let them know and be prepared for a reaction you won’t like. If the feelings are returned that’s great, but if they are not you need to put the friendship first. You must be prepared to work through your feelings and make the friendship a priority over your broken dreams of romance.
If you are the person being admired you must be prepared to be honest about your feelings in return. If you feel an attraction as well don’t be afraid to admit it. If you are not interested be kind in your rejection. Make it clear you only want to be friends and show that you mean it by sticking by your friendship through the difficult post-declaration adjustment period.
Rules for a Successful Guy-Girl FriendshipThere are some simple rules to make a guy-girl friendship a success:
- don’t ever cross the line of friendship without realizing it may be a point of no return
- if you know your friend has feelings for you never take advantage of those feelings
- never give in to physical attractions without knowing that it could change the friendship forever
- know that there will always be people who scoff at the validity of guy-girl friendships
"A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe forever"
Think about these things....
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said, "he's not going to go." Well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, "thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and I cried.
I love u
I love u
I love u
I love u
Never be afraid to tell someone how much u love and appreciate them, because when you finally pluck up the courage, it might be too late.
Randalh Jose Ignacio."IGGY"